ABC Adoption Reunion Show: Should Reunions be Televised?
National Association of Social Workers member Kenny Levine LCSW wants other social workers to watch tonight’s sneak preview of “Find My Family” (9:30 p.m. Eastern Time Monday on ABC).
In tonight’s episode hosts Tim Green and Lisa Joyner meet Scott and Sandy Steinpas, a married couple in Brookfield, Wisc. who are searching for a daughter they gave up for adoption when they were teenagers.
Levine wants Social Workers Speak! to ask readers this question:
Q: Should a sensitive, emotional issue such as an adopted person’s reunion with birth parents be broadcast on national television? Is this exploitative? Watch the program and leave an opinion!
To find out more about this issue NASW’s “Help Starts Here” Web page on Adoptions and Foster Care.
| Leave A CommentAdvertisement
8 Comments
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
wow. as an adoptive mother 4 times, I am curious to watch this show; the parents of 3 of my kids are deceased but my oldest son, who is from south korea, does not have any info on his family at all; he rarely talks about wanting to find them. but I am sure that if he found them, it would fill a void in his life. I would like to find them but his focus right now is college and work;
suzanne
What a tear jerker! How hard it must have been for Scott and Sandy to give their baby daughter up. I so hope that some sort of relationship is developed between Jenny and the Steinpas family. After the initial meeting, reality sets in and a new road must be paved by all involved and sometimes that is easier said than done. Hopefully, their close proximity will make it easier to form relationships. Good luck to all!
I could not stop sobbing. This reality show is definitely a tear jerker. I come from an intact loving family of five children and can’t begin to imagine what it would feel like to learn you were “given up” and “adopted.” In this first eposide it is clear that what is presented are two families that appear to have raised a “good family” who’s desire to establish a relaitonship with each other are shared. After all, this is Hollywood and happy endings sell ratings, so this is good for a first episode. However, there are adopted persons and birth parents with issues of anger, abandonment, and not so happy endings, etc. which would be interesting to watch as well. It makes for a “good show.”
Generally, I think these sensitive, emotional moments should not be shared with the world. You have to ask yourself what is the motivation for an adopted person or birth parent to appear on a show like this?
I will first say that I didn’t see the show. However, when I saw the previews my first thought was that these families must have been desperate for the resources that the TV network could provide to find their loved one. I would imagine any family would prefer to keep a reunion private if they had that option. Leave it to the TV developers to find a way to exploit people any way they can. I will not watch it just on principle.
The general consensus in the (adult) Adoptee Rights Movement community is that the show Find My Family is a positive thing. We believe that so far it has portrayed a healthy and accurate vision of how many adoptees and birth parents feel. We have found that society has long silenced adoptee entitlement to their lives pre-adoption by telling them that they should be “grateful” for the same humanity that everyone else has. Likewise, birth mothers have long been expected to “get on with their lives” because regretting or experiencing pain over the decision they made is selfish because their child now has a “better life.” These are comments that triad members are used to experiencing time and time again because those not impacted by adoption do not necessarily empathize nor understand what feelings are “normal” within an adoption setting. I have read that those who oppose the show often feel that way because of the factor of betrayal to the adoptive family. My response to that is that reunion should never veiwed as a betrayal. Too long has adoption been about erasing one family and replacing it with another (as perpetuated by the amending and sealing of birth and adoption records). Adoptees have special life circumstances–both families contribute to who they are in different ways and embracing that can be very important. Another objection to the show I’ve heard is that it exploits emotional situations for entertainment. While I can see this aspect of it, the individuals appearing on this show are consenting adults.
I personally have spoken to the producers of this show through email and on the phone. While ratings are necessary for the perpetuation of any television program, there is a marked concern for the actual families involved–not just entertainment.
I thank the poster of this question for using the phrase “adopted person.” Too many times are adult adoptees (who this show features) are refered to as “children.” The intention is not always bad but we need to remember that the word “child” is synonymous with an under age person who needs guardianship, cannot make their own decisions, lacks life experience and may be immature and has different rights and priveledges under the law than adults do. I appreciate it when people choose to use more appropriate language when referring to adult adoptees; so thank you!
Generally, I think these sensitive, emotional moments should not be shared with the world. You have to ask yourself what is the motivation for an adopted person or birth parent to appear on a show like this?
—————-
Why not ask them? 🙂
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=210770137641, http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=210770137641#/group.php?gid=46156052595 (this one is admined by Ed Ellington, one of the show’s producers).
Due to the state of the law in 44 out of 50 states, most adoptees are absolutely barred from their lives pre-adoption. This aspect of adoption law in most states violates the U.S. Constitution, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the NASW Code of Ethics. It can also make reunion, on-going accurate family medical history, entitlement to their biological heritage (even ICWA cannot help some Native Americans embrace their roots, let alone anyone else who does not fall under ICWA) and entitlement to an original identity (as a matter of right but lack of an authentic proof of birth also interfers with the Western Travel Initiatives, DMV and U.S. passport qualifications as well as causes issues with adoptees obtaining high security jobs) absolutely impossible. Someone who wants these things or wants to reunite but is denied the ability to do so as a matter of law may have no choice but to hire a PI. Someone who cannot afford a PI might then contact a show for help.
Why is society so perpetually skeptical of an adopted person’s or birth parent’s motivation to restore what they’ve lost?
As long as all parties involved agree to it, fine. But no birth parent or adoptee should have a reunion forced upon them unexpectedly in front of a TV audience.
I hope that some day my adopted sons will be able to meet their Guatemalan birth mother. But I want that to be an experience for them, not the entire world.
May be interested in really trying to share my adoption story. Many emotional detail something I’ve needed my whole life my childhood was very unstable and had a lot of emotional problems due to my adoption. I have a wonderful story that has touched many people that I have told and I would love to continue supporting and loving and helping other people if it’s adopted kids that have or haven’t found their families adopted parents but either struggle with the concept of their kids feelings or even ones that are supportive and that would just love to continue hearing more stories like theirs.