Ron Nevelow (second from right) sings with a men's choir. Photo courtesy of the Dallas Morning News.

Males who form good friendships with other men often enjoy a better emotional state that can lead to improved health, according to this article in the Dallas Morning News.

The article tells what happened to Ron Nevelow, who suffered from stress-related gastrointestinal distress when he worked as an accountant. Nevelow switched careers to something he enjoyed — social work and psychotherapy — and joined a men’s singing group at his synagogue.

His singing group rallied around Nevelow when his mother died a year ago. All the choir members sat shiva with him. Shiva is a Jewish mourning custom.

Geoffrey Grief, a social worker and National Association of Social Workers member who is an expert on men’s relationships, was also quoted in the story. Men often feel isolated when life’s problems hit because they are not socialized to find support through friends, he said.

To learn more about how social workers help consumers improve their mental and physical health visit the NASW’s “Help Starts Here” Web pages by clicking here.

Shay Sorrells

Shay Sorrells did not win the eighth season of the “The Biggest Loser” (Tuesdays at 8 p.m. Eastern on NBC). Still, the National Association of Social Workers member and Newport Beach, Calif., resident has become one of the hit show’s most popular challengers.

When Shay competed she was the heaviest contestant up to that time, weighing 476 pounds. She shed 170 pounds by the end of the season. Now Subway restaurants will pay Shay $1,000 for each pound she loses by the end of the ninth season.

Several weeks ago Shay invited other social workers to ask questions about her experiences. 

Here are her responses:

Q: What can we do to give lower income families access to healthy foods? When you need to put food on the table or into your children’s mouths, sometimes health goes out the window and it doesn’t matter if you’re eating macaroni and cheese or a healthy dinner – you just need to eat!

SHAY: I completely agree and understand and have lived the whatever-is-available-is-what-you-eat lifestyle. There are some small changes and choices you can make to a menu that won’t break the bank and are food stamp friendly!

If you are working with a family that has NO means:

• Look for organizations in your community that are willing to donate fresh vegetables and foods! You would be surprised how many places would be willing, especially when you flash that non-profit, tax write-off paperwork!
• Depending on your location (and family situation), if you are in a rural area or at least dirt is accessible think community garden, back patio garden, or even windowsill garden! It is really cheap to grow your own veggies, spices, and herbs and it’s a great learning experience for the whole family.
• Sometimes it can just come down to preparation. Ingredients such as almond milk are superb for you and much cheaper. Using less butter or less oils to cook is a better option. White break and wheat bread usually cost the same. Buy wheat bread and brown rice instead of white bread or rice. 
• Educate clients on how a $3 dollar McDonalds Happy Meal can actually stretch if you spend that amount on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for several meals. 

For the family that has LITTLE means follow the above tips plus advise clients to:

• Check out vegetables and fresh meats that are near expiration and are “manager’s specials” that are deeply discounted. Grocery stores near whe I live often do this.
• Select frozen vegetables, which are a more affordable option and often go on sale and don’t perish as quickly. Frozen vegetables also have more nutrients than fresh ones because they are frozen at peak freshness.
• Opt for low-sugar cereals for the kids! Last time I checked, sugary cereals were more expensive than Raisin Bran and similar brands.
• Go to Costco! They have great deals on large quantities and these days carry a lot of health-conscious products such as Greek yogurt (more protein and less carbs, keeps the tummy fuller on less of it! ), egg whites which stretch much further than whole eggs etc!

Q: How do you manage to get in appropriate meals, snacks and exercise in the social worker world? As all social workers know we are very overworked and very underpaid.

SHAY: First, follow some of the above advice that I gave for our families. We all teach our families budgeting and prioritizing very well but often don’t practice what we preach! Am I right? I work in the field a lot so at the start of the week (Sundays for me) I cook a week’s worth of meals (meat, veggies, fruit, snacks etc.), put half in the freezer and the other half portioned in baggies in the fridge. Every morning I throw a days worth (whatever your calorie intake is) of food in a cooler, put ice packs in, silverware etc. and I know I can have anything in that cooler. Now on the days I wake up and realize I was supposed to be somewhere five minutes ago there are several places besides a grocery store, which is my first choice, that I know I can stop and get something that won’t completely destroy my day. For example, I go to Subway and I get a six-inch, whole wheat (with the bread scooped out), turkey sub with double lettuce, tomato, bell peppers, spinach, cucumbers and avocado, with pepper and balsamic vinegar. With applies and iced tea that’s $6. If I can’t locate a Subway I go to El Pollo Loco and get a skinless chicken breast and a loco salad (or two). Ask for the salad without the tortilla strips and get the light creamy cilantro dressing. Shred the chicken into the salads, use half or less of the dressing (or just use the house salsa!).  That’s $4 and not bad on the calories!

Q: I am glad you were able to address your problem and I wish you well on your new diet and new mind set. However, do you think you provided a poor role model for clients when you were obese?

SHAY: Thank you for your well wishes. I do not believe I provided a poor role model because much more makes up a social worker than their size or weight. However, I do think for me it was a reality that I was not going to be a very good social worker if I was a dead one or an immobile one. I have helped empower many clients in my years in the field and I do not think my weight directly affected them. However, it did affect me and my abilities. If anything, I believe that to truly empathize and understand someone you will have had to walk in their shoes, whether literally or at least mentally. I think by going public with my journey and struggle it provided a very positive role model for many more people than I could have ever imagined.

Q: I get hesitant to bring up a client’s weight unless they talk about it first. I don’t want to offend my clients or make them uncomfortable in any way. What is your suggestion for bringing up this topic?

SHAY: Talk about general health overall. If that makes you feel more comfortable it can be a gateway to the conversation. The reality is if you are overweight you know it and you know everyone else knows it. The other side of that is no one can make a change for you, you have to decide to do it for yourself and that may be why clients do not talk about it openly to us. However if it is directly affecting their treatment or services (diabetes or medical care) you may want to address it in that capacity and set goals and objectives accordingly.

Q: From your experience as a social worker, are the causes of obesity common across diverse populations or are they differentially experienced by individuals of different socio-economic status, race, gender etc.?

SHAY: Obesity and weight issues are an American epidemic that does span across many populations. However there are some cultural and ethnic components that definitely have an impact on some more than others. For example, some cultures celebrate and show love through food because it is their only means. This can lead to emotional eating and weight issues. For other cultures their traditional foods historically were the least nutritious and basically most unhealthy because of their status in society. This is difficult to change because now the food is accepted and celebrated as culture. America also markets certain foods and products to certain socio-economic classes more frequently than others. I read  a study that (said) there are more fast food places per square mile than grocery stores in ALL lower economic neighborhoods! This is a problem of epic proportions and a macro social work issue if you ask me!

Q: What would be the first intervention and the most important interventions for a client who asks for help dealing with weight and eating-related issues?

SHAY: Help the client pinpoint what the underlying food issue is, whether lack of education about nutrition and exercise or emotional eating. This will lead you to your next intervention which would be education or counseling and most of the time both.

Q:  Do you plan to incorporate what you learned on the “Biggest Loser” into your practice or with your clients?

SHAY: Absolutely! I learned more than just weight loss on “The Biggest Loser.” I really learned about the emotional weight and the compulsive emotional eating that had taken over my life. There are direct connections between mental health and our physical and emotional health. We are total people, and to compartmentalize and only work on one aspect is a disservice. Many times emotional and mental health issues derive from a physical health issue. Are you depressed because you are overweight or overweight because you are depressed? Treating both would be the best possible method of help for our clients.

Q: I work in a diabetes education clinic. We are holding a class for people interested in learning to live and eat healthy. What do you feel is the most important issue to address in a class like this? I want to stress that we are not going to talk about losing weight.

SHAY: Lifestyle change! Diets are a setup for failure! We must look at lifelong changes that are achievable and sustainable. Goal setting is HUGE! Research suggests setting small attainable goals no further than 12 weeks out. Ideally, four to six weeks keeps interest peaked. So some goals may be to keep my blood sugar between this and that number, to walk four times per week, to drink eight glasses of water daily etc. Achieving these small successes will pave the way to better health without ever talking about weight!

Q: What are your future plans?

SHAY: I plan to continue on my journey to a healthier and happier me and to continue helping people for as long as I can. I do not believe that I have had this experience for only my growth but for the growth of others around me. I am a social worker — in my opinion from birth — and that is not going to change. It may look different but then I never went with the status quo. It may be in a public speaking arena, in a macro public advocacy role, or in helping agencies and companies to provide healthier opportunities for their employees to promote total health.

To learn more about how social workers such as Shay help people live healthier lifestyles visit the National Association of Social Workers’ “Help Starts Here”  Mind & Spirit Web pages by clicking here and Health & Wellness Web pages by clicking here.

From left: Andre Braugher, Ray Romano and Scott Bakula. Photo courtesy of maradavis.com

“Men of a Certain Age,”  a “dramedy” premiering on TNT Monday at 10 p.m. Eastern Time, delves into the issues three friends face as they approach the “Big 5-0.”  Think of it as “Sex of City” for the Sunday football and beer set.

Joe (Ray Romano) separated from his wife because of gambling and lives in a seedy divorce motel. Owen (Andre Braugher) has a demanding wife, bad health, and works for a demanding father. And Terry (Scott Bakula) is the aging bachelor and part-time actor who wants to relive his glory years.

Q: From what we’ve read, “Men of a Certain Age” will tackle issues social workers help clients handle, including depression, health and wellness, and aging. Is it rare for a television program or movie to address the emotional and health issues men and women experience as they age?

Catherine White-Holman. Photo courtesy of Vancouver Sun.

Our regards  to the Vancouver Sun in Canada for their moving profile of Catherine White-Holman, a pioneering social worker who helped provide health care to the community and was an advocate for gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender people. White-Holman, 55, recently died in a plane crash.

To read the full story click here.

Many seriously ill women are abandoned by men.

New York Times health blogger Tara Parker-Pope put a spotlight on a troubling trend in a recent article. When women get long-term illnesses, their mates are more likely to abandon them.

There is scientific data to support this. Women who were told they had a serious illness were seven times more likely to become separated or divorced than men, according to a report published in the journal Cancer.

Social workers are not surprised. Many have been helping families address this issue for years. Social Workers Speak! gathered some experts in our field to talk about this issue, how they handle it in their practices, and what women can do to overcome the pain of abandonment.

The experts are Melanie Barton, LCSW, Ed.D, who was in the process of a divorce before being treated for colon cancer; and Maribel Quiala, MSW, LCSW, an expert on Latino and immigrant families who often appears on local and national television to discuss mental health, alcohol abuse and other issues.

Q: The New York Times article cited a study that said husbands are seven times more likely to separate or divorce from wives who are seriously ill. What is it about our culture that makes men less likely to take the caretaker role than women?

Barton: Many men do not deal well with women being emotionally, financially, or physically dependent on them even though they may have unconsciously fostered it. They want it, encourage it, but then resent it. The husband may fear the wife will outgrow her need to depend on him.  He may then get angry when the wife tries to assert her independence believing it means the husband is no longer needed and that she will find someone else to replace him. I often see men starting affairs when their wives get cancer.  Men divert all that painful emotion into something to distract them that feels good.

Quiala: Men become fearful and are at times unable to handle the unknown. Women are better caregivers because many times they have to be more nurturing, loving and caring. Few people have a plan for dealing with diseases and men are less organized for such occurrences. Many times cancer patients withdraw from those around them, even those that love them. If the relationship is shaky the (healthy) partner will also create greater resistance and find this is their exit out of a “dysfunctional relationship.”

What can we do to reverse this troubling trend?

Quiala: We live in an emotionally bankrupt society and everyone is disposable. We should try to humanize our society more, increasing our compassion for others and placing true value in what is really vital (which is each other) and not material things. If we can achieve these first steps we might begin to shift the paradigm of our emotionally bankrupt society.

Barton: In our culture we do not normally allow males to express their emotions unless it is lust, anger, or some other negative feature.  To combat this programming we need to instruct both our male and female children that it is healthy to discuss feelings without needing to violently display them.  We need to give children an opportunity to see illness not as a weakness, but a fact of life.  We need to teach boys and girls how to be self-sufficient learning to do things like cooking, cleaning, ironing, sewing on a button, and balancing a checkbook. As married people we need to talk about how we will handle situations when one of the couple gets ill.

Q: Are you dealing with this issue in your personal life or practice? How are you helping clients deal with this issue?

Barton: Yes, seven weeks after I separated from my spouse of 39 years I was diagnosed with colon cancer.  Prior to going on medical disability, I was helping clients deal with the issue in relation to my treating them while going through a divorce.  I let them know I have the tools to make a marriage work and the tools are valid, but you have to have people who are willing to use them.  Sometimes the tools let you know that ending something that is unhealthy for both parties is the most humane thing you can do.

Quiala: In therapy I empower clients, helping them gain control or regain control and assisting them in finding the internal courage to move forward and fight. Everyone is courageous. However, they lose sight of that when they are diagnosed with disease. I assist them with relaxation techniques, controlling what they can in their lives such as health care, increasing their ability to allow others to help them, and removing the guilt of feeling like they are a burden. Placing oneself first is foremost in order to heal. I also help them in finding their higher power, whether through religion or spiritual practice.

Q: Is it difficult for women to deal with serious illnesses such as cancer and lupus and build a new life after separation and divorce? What advice can you give them?

Quiala: Yes, after a traumatic disease and journey to heal having to rebuild a life is difficult but not impossible. Patients need to talk about and (resolve issues) with the healthy spouse in a mutually respectful and understanding manner. Thoughout the journey many times women come to realize that they are able to make remarkable transitions and transformation for the better. One patient told me “I realized that although I would love to heal the cancer permanently from my body, also wanted to heal the many insecurities I had in my marriage that had caused me to live such a sheltered, dysfunctional relationship.”

Q: Is this issue a matter of life and death? In other words, is there evidence that seriously ill patients do better physically when they are in a loving environment?

Quiala: Many of the techniques not widely evaluated are at times not recognized as potentially powerful therapeutic interventions. Simply keeping company with a patient who is in distress can many times be a very powerful intervention. Gently touching, massaging the patient’s hands and feet and anointing their skin with oils can be a very soothing intervention.

Barton: According to Steven Muse in a Yale University School of Medicine study of people undergoing coronary angiography, atherosclerosis (a waxy buildup in blood vessels) significantly decreased  for persons who felt solved and supported when compared to those who did not, even after other risk factors had been controlled, including age and sex. Most interestingly of all, researchers discovered that sharing feelings by way of writing in a journal even when no other person was actually present had important physical benefits.

For more information on how social workers guide families that need mental and health care, visit the National Association of Social Workers Web site on Health and ”Help Starts Here” Web site on Health and Wellness.

Lynn Hardesty. Photo courtesy of Gazette newspaper.

Cheers to the Maryland Gazette  for a touching article on NASW member Lynn Hardesty MSW, who was honored for her dedication to young cancer patients at Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, D.C. Hardesty was one of two nominees recognized at a 2009 Festival of Heroes benefit event. That event raised $250,000 to help expand cancer programs at the hospital.

“I’ve often felt you see the best of people around here. And it’s not only from the kids, it’s from everybody,” Hardesty said.

For more information about the work social workers do in hospitals and other health care settings, click here to visit the National Association of Social Workers’ Health Web site or go to the NASW “Help Starts Here” Health and Wellness section by clicking here.

Ice skater Dorothy Hamill

The National Association of Social Workers supports Kaleidoscope, a television variety show designed to raise awareness of women cancer issues and empower women to take control of their health. The program features celebrity cancer survivors singer Olivia Newton-John and skaters Dorothy Hamill and Scott Hamilton, who will return to the ice.

The program is taping at 7 p.m. today at the Verizon Center in Washington D.C. and airs Thanksgiving Day Nov. 26 on Fox television from 4 to 5:30 p.m. EST.

In related news the NASW is hosting a lunchtime series on Nov. 17, “Strengthening the Cancer Knowledge and Skills of the Social Work Labor Force.” For more information and to register for that event click here.

And to get more information on how social workers help cancer patients and their families visit NASW’s “Help Starts Here” Web site section on cancer by clicking here.