Comments on: Incest Warning Signs: Q&A With Incest Researcher and Social Worker LeslieBeth Wish

By: Rita Yost

Rita Yost — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:53:04 +0000

My sister and I are incest victims. My sister profited socially and financially from her consensual incest. I rejected my father because of unjust physical abuse at his hands during preadolescence. The physical abuse became sporadic after I promised physical retaliation the next time he was passed out drunk. The malevolent and vicious verbal abuse continued. My sister is filled with rage which she projects onto me. My mother tries to do “nice” things for me, but favors my sister and refuses to admit the incest. At 62, I have had enough of the madness and am in the process of breaking all ties with my extended Southern Gothic family. Please continue studies of all aspects and nuances of this family problem.

By: Paula Beckenstein, LCSW

Paula Beckenstein, LCSW — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:35:07 +0000

I have also worked with survivors of incest and have found it to be the most painful and challenging work in my practice. Not only does the patient feel shame and humiliation admitting this to the therapist but also to themselves.Two of my female patients had totally repressed being sexually abused or incested by their fathers and it was only after several years of treatment for severe mood disorders (with Borderline Personality Disorder) that it came out with such devastating emotional consequences.Another patient had to be hospitalized repeatedly for Dissociative Identity Disorder after being violently raped in childhood by her grandfather. I found that each patient who ultimately came to reprocess their trauma had had relational problems most of their life, and their character formation had been formed around defending against this memory and having extreme rage when confronted with an emotional reminder of the unconscious event.
It is very sad to see your patient decompensate, though temporarily, but then watch them reevaluate all of their issues and come out stronger. I have found that there will be some women whose trauma was so great that they never really achieve their life goals and suffer chronically. Oher women will only temporarily decompensate when there is a major stressor in their life, like a significant loss, a death (even of a pet), or an emotionally abusive experience with a significant other.

By: E. A. Wahrburg, MSW, LCSW (NC, NY)

E. A. Wahrburg, MSW, LCSW (NC, NY) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:35:05 +0000

I feel that this Q and A with incest researcher, Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, Ed.D., MSS is outstanding in its description of the complex dynamics that occur in families where incest is taking place. I’ve worked with incest survivors in both civilian and military populations and continued to be astounded by the magnitude of frequency with which women report that they are incest survivors. As a man, I sometimes actually feel a degree of embarassment and shame that members of my gender can inflict such horrendous emotional and physical pain upon young female toddlers, children, adolescents and women. The severity of damage these “men” do to females within their own family is all too often life-long. The entire psychological foundation of a woman’s life can be set by the trauma that she was subjected to in childhood. Some of the women incest survivors I’ve worked with are so thankfully, among the most resilient and perservering women one could know. They are doggedly determined to recover from their abuse and often do so in support systems that are mutually emotionally supportive. I pray for the day when “men” who do this will be non-existent.
We have to improve what seems to be a worldwide epidemic of this most cruel and destructive behavior. The enormity of suffering that countless women endure worldwide mandates dramatic improvement in the way we raise our sons.

Ernest A. Wahrburg, MSW, LCSW (NC, NY)

By: Jill, ACSW

Jill, ACSW — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:19:40 +0000

I believe that the statistic is 1 in 4 females experience some type of sexual abuse in their lifetime, the author may have mistyped 25%. In my practice it’s not uncommon for someone to seek treatment for anxiety, depression or relational issues then later disclose history of abuse. I would sadly estimate that of the children who are victims of child sexual abuse more than half of them have mothers that were also sexually abuse (most of whom never got treatment). Talking out loud about sexual abuse and sexually inappropriate play/touch/talk is important to breaking the stigma so more people seek treatment. Treatment for victims of abuse helps to break the chain of abuse.

By: Jo-C

Jo-C — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:13:18 +0000

This is kind of shocking. As a forensic social worker dealing with sexual crimes, it’s interesting to note that all the years of research and training have been wrong. Had no idea that the percentage of male victims was nearly triple that of female.

One in twenty-five female victims is bad enough, but one in seven male victims by the age of 18? – has anyone double-checked that?